...But Encourage Me To Be Better

The title of my Blog, "Take Me The Way I Am" is not only one of my favorite song titles, but also a very true statement of my life.  I long for people to take me the way I am.  However, there is one key component that I'm realizing more and more...I do not find that sense of pride within myself.  Through Bob, my mom, coworkers, friends, acquaintances, and yes, stuffed animals, I try to find those who are proud of all and any accomplishments.  This leads me to a previous topic: goals.  I think I need to set some type of goal about being proud of me and my own accomplishments.  So, let's look at some of those goals...

• Diet - I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but I've started a Biggest Loser program at school. (Big thanks to Greg for helping me with my spreadsheet!!!).  According to the last week at school weigh-ins, I've lost more weight. I use my Sunday morning WW weigh-ins more seriously, though.  According to that, I have lost 19 lbs.!  (See gadget to right).  Yes, a lot to go, but just think if I wouldn't have started this journey 9/10 weeks ago...I'd still be 19 lbs. heavier.  I LOVE this!

Adding more every week!

• Exercise - Although I still can't exercise until after the surgery, I might look into a gym...we'll see..anybody have opinions?  I really miss swimming, and I'll need to work weights back in at some point.  Looking at quite a few in Seattle including Gold's Gym, 24/7 Fitness, Rain Fitness, and LA Fitness
• Finances - Pay mom & dad back for a few things (ok, a lot of things) they helped me purchase (such wonderful parents!) back before I had my teaching job.  Please don't judge me.  lol...I know I'm spoiled, but at least I'm paying them back for it all! :) - STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS. :)  haven't gotten paid since the last post.
• Old Friendships  - Continue to make daily if not weekly connections with all of my favorites.  Also write snail mail or something similar to those I haven't spoken to as much.I hope to write  lots of snail mail in the upcoming weeks. :)
• New Friendships - Amazing news!  I'm hanging out with Emma Friday night..can't wait!  We worked at the bakery this summer together, but now I can get a full update on how her first year of college is going!! :)  And...there is another new teacher that works in my district, is taking a class with me, and lives in Seattle.  We'll be making plans to hang out sometime, soon.  :)

http://pinterest.com/pin/136656169913039375/

• Career - Continue to take advantage of the classes offered through our District....definitely doing this.  :)

I am routinely watching this video over and over.  It's a great one, and I hope you enjoy it whether or not you're in the education business:

• Adventure - I will be getting my tattoo as soon as I have the money and am cleared after the surgery!  Woohoo!!

On the topic of a few of these...diet AND exercise, I took a free health quiz thing through my insurance, and I now get monthly phone calls from her (her name is Alissa) to keep me on track with goals we create together.  So grateful for free things like this!





Now, on a totally unrelated note, I've been meaning to put up some pictures of our wonderful bunny, Link!  :)  He is a star! :)  We love him so much!  But, as you'll notice, he doesn't exactly like posing for the camera.

My fingers are starting to slowly leave me, so I should wrap this up.  Thank you to those of you who encourage me on a steady basis.  I don't know what I'd do without you!


Much Love!

Pushing Through

Wow, has this been one tough week or what?!  Shortly after Bob left for his week long NC trip, I fell outside of our apartment complex and hit my head on the cement.  Talk about scary!  It honestly didn't hurt that much, but I must watch too many movies.  I just pictured standing up and thinking I was fine when I actually had blood pouring out of my ears or out of a gash in my head or something.  Good news - no blood!  It was definitely a wake-up call to how much Bob is here to help me out and how grateful I should be.  I've realized that more and more each day this week.   Things that have occurred multiple times this week:

• falling (onto the bed) while getting dressed...resulting in the ability, with difficulty, to get back up easier than falling to the ground
• multiple bra problems...4 hooks?  you guys are killing me!

• not as much time to play with link
• not being able to make dinner
• taking 4 attempts to paint my nails and still have problems
• calling my kids to come down to class instead of me going to get them
• trying to explain to K & 1st graders why you have to walk so slow when walking with Mrs. Gilreath

So...things could have been a lot worse, but i'm ready for my hubby to be home...or someone to help me get dressed! :)

My mom comes in exactly 1 week from tomorrow night. :) I'm so pumped...some things we are doing while she is here (including pre and post surgery) are: seeing The Hunger Games,

a meal at the Space Needle,

a meal at The Melting Pot, mom possibly visiting my school for 1/2 a day, making a homemade address book, making a recipe book, doing a bunch of puzzles including a 1000 one of starry night,

eating lots of pudding (YUMMM)

, tons of Netflix, and a ton of other things.  I'm so excited to see her!

As for the surgery, I'm basically trying not to think too much about the details.  I don't know where the incisions will be, though, and that I DO want to find out.  i don't know if it will be my sides or armpits.

Anyway, off to school...no kids today...lots of things to prepare for next year.  Wish me luck for the day and my strength, please!

Also, today is the second day of our weigh-in for Biggest Loser at school...I take my Sunday weigh-ins at home more seriously, but I'm still hoping today goes well!!! :)  Woohoo weight loss!!!

<3

Much Love!

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight...

This is probably the eighth time I've attempted to write a blog post in the past few days.   I keep just deleting it because I can't finish my thoughts or I think I'm really just not that entertaining.  Well, I truly am not that entertaining, but blogging is SUPPOSED to be for me. :)  So...I'll try again.

Muscles.  dying.  No news there.  even as 'we speak', my writing is going to get worse because i just can't  make my fingers try any harder!  I'm so extremely tired...every second.  In case I haven't explained it before, the MG makes my body feel like I've just worked out.  on days like today, it's like I did a 6 hour workout this morning and still have the immediate after effect all day.  :(  I can't stop trying to do things, though.  This morning I wanted terribly, terribly badly to go to the farmers market (as I've come to want to do each Saturday & Sunday morning).  I got ready pretty much on my own (yay, accomplishment!). I could feel the weakness as I got ready, but nothing too terrible.  I got in the car and ventured toward the market before I realized I didn't have any cash and should probably stop at an ATM.  I found a bank and parked.  After about 10 steps I felt like I was going to fall.  The it hit me...am I going to fall?  Will I even make it back to the car?  I can't even get into the bank for money, so the farmers market is out of the question.  Farmers Market?!  What was I even thinking!  That's straight up walking right there!  Ugh!  So I got in the car and prepared to cry.  Surprise - I didn't.  Was i frustrated?  Yes?  Did I talk sense into myself that it could be much worse? yes.  So, I called Bob, we went and got breakfast and he helped me get groceries (not allowing me to ride in the electric cart thing [partially for fun, partially to eliminate walking]).  now i'm home...and have been. bed is made, laundry is almost done, kitchen is clean, mail is ready to be sent, etc.  And...i'm. tired.  but what do I want to do?  I want to go shopping.  I want to go to the library.  I want to see a movie.  I want to paint my nails.  I want to organize my closet.  What can I do?  All of those things, truly.  What SHOULD I do?  probably read.  or watch tv.

So after all of that venting, I'm going to relish in the fact that I DO still have books from the library last week that I haven't finished.  I shall read those...and maybe start a new season of watching The Biggest Loser (or something else...we'll see).  At least I HAVE the opportunity to read books and watch TV.  Right?!  :)

So, on another (related) note, Bob is leaving for NC for a work trip this week.  He's flying out tomorrow morning and coming back sometime late Friday night.  I'm worried about how I'll be while he's gone, of course, but I also hope he has fun.  I know it's a work trip, but it's a trip! :)  I wish our NC friends were closer to Greensboro so he could see them!


I'm still steadily thinking about the goals that Kelly set in her blog and working on my own.  Here are my general thoughts for now:

Diet - Continue with Weight Watchers.  It is working wonders!  :)
Exercise - This one is going to have to (sadly) go on the back burner until sometime in April...unless the doctor approves exercise before the surgery again.  I WAS getting into Zumba, and I think I'll stick with trying that again.
Finances - Pay mom & dad back for a few things (ok, a lot of things) they helped me purchase (such wonderful parents!) back before I had my teaching job.  Please don't judge me.  lol...I know I'm spoiled, but at least I'm paying them back for it all! :)
Old Friendships  - Continue to make daily if not weekly connections with all of my favorites.  Also write snail mail or something similar to those I haven't spoken to as much.
New Friendships - Such an intimidating thing for me.  : / I'm open to suggestions on this, or at least I'd like to think so.  I'm so intimidated by new social situations it's not even funny (no, really..the psych. and I are talking about this!  :) )
Career - Continue to take advantage of the classes offered through our District.
Adventure (a new one!) - Finalize plans for my tattoo!!!


So those are a mixture of overall general goals and sub-monthly goals...I'll break them down (hopefully) in my next post.

Much Love!  :)

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Improvements

So, where to start....


Today has been a rough MG day.  I'm so grateful for being able to blog about this, because I know the people I talk to about the MG are probably getting so extremely sick of me talking about it.  I finally got in touch with my neurologist's nurse today and let her know my symptoms.  She asked if I was stressed at all, and I wanted to break down and cry and tell her how stressed I was.  I simply answered yes...tons. lol  She called back later, and we upped the steroid dose.  I've now had 70 mg. of steroids today, and I'll probably continue on at least a dose of 60 mg./day until the surgery.  It sucks, and I try to ignore how much it might be having an effect on weight loss, but oh well.  Walking to the car was so scary today.  I saw the curb and was so scared to step down...thinking I was going to fall.  It's amazing how a simple curb of a few inches can be so intimidating.  I'm hoping that I can get through the week without taking a sick day...well, I guess I'm hoping I can get to the surgery without a sick day overall!  Please pray for that!  :)  


We're starting a Biggest Loser challenge at work this week.  I'm heading it up and we have 12 people so far.  Our first weigh in is this Friday.  Cash money prizes at the end!  I'm hoping I get at least one of the weekly prizes if not one of the top 3 at the end.  We're going all the way to mid June!  Legit!  :)  I'm seriously so in love with Weight watchers, and so grateful that it is coming so easily for me.


So, onto a few things from this morning that I mentioned.  Ever since the infamous Jeff Strata changed my life through his amazing role of my swimming coach in high school, I have wanted to be a coach.  This morning, I contacted our local high school to see if they would have any use for a volunteer softball coach. Yes, the season has started, I don't know the girls, my muscles might get in the way, and the schedule is different, but i'm hoping something will happen anyway.  :)  On the other hand, I asked our choir/music teacher if she wanted help, and I'm starting that tomorrow morning!  :)  woohoo!  And, thanks to MRS. Strata for that one! :)  I hope someday I'll fulfill my goal of coaching swimming!!


A dear friend and Fraternity brother, Kelly Cifranic, has a blog that I've recently started following: http://beagleandbear.blogspot.com/  You should check it out.  She's pretty cool. :)  Anyway, she has not only been a swimming coach, but has also inspired me to set some new goals for my life!  This year, she has set different goals in different categories with subgoals for each month:

My 2012 endpoint goals are:

• Health: live an overall healthier lifestyle
• Finances: be more organized, balanced, and responsible
• Relationships: maintain mutually supportive relationships that are in balance with one another
• Wedding: have location and date set and all major vendors booked
• Career: aggressively pursue full-time teaching position; develop my coaching skills and knowledge while also developing the school's swimming program further
• Self-enrichment: allow "me" time without overindulging; actively participate in passions, hobbies, interests, etc. further

My January goals are:

• Health: track food daily; workout three times a week
• Finances: save specific percentage of all paychecks
• Relationships: e-mail out-of-town friends; prepare for Dan and I's three year anniversary
• Wedding: research vendors in the two locations where Dan and I are interested in holding our wedding
• Career: prepare for the end of swim season and substitute frequently
• Self-enrichment: blog much more often

So, I'm thinking and hoping that I can do something similar.  However, I realize this won't be an overnight decision.  I love the health goal, and if you know anything about me, you know that I've been working like crazy on my health.  I think I'm going to split that into two goals, though - 1) Diet and 2) Exercise.  Finances.  OMG...not trying to straight up copy Kelly, but we all know I could work more on my finances.  So, 3) Finances.  I love the relationship goal, and I'd love to split it into working on 4) old friendships and 5) new friendships.  Gosh, Kelly, you're so good at these!  6)  Career...for sure.  Any thoughts/comments on any other good ones? I'd love the input!  

So, the final ones (at least for now) are:

Diet

Exercise

Finances

Old Friendships

New Friendships

I feel like I'm missing some vital points here...

Anyway, leave your thoughts!

Much Love!

It's a Brand New Day

So my fingers are working again.  That's good news.  We'll see how long it lasts! :) I'd keep them crossed, but that probably wouldn't help.  My MG has been getting progressively worse this week, and I'm hoping I can make it through the week without any falling episodes at school.

I'm SO excited about getting back into this blogging, but I just really spent a bunch of time researching some other areas - coaching, helping with other school activities, etc.  SOOO...hopefully I'll have time tonight to blog some more, because I have so much to say! Also, in reading Kelly's blog http://beagleandbear.blogspot.com/ , I want to start an idea she has done!  Woohoo! :)

Have a wonderful day, everyone!
Much Love!

Hard work

With the surgery coming up, I have to get all my IEPs written that are due within the recovery timeframe.  Total?  4 IEPs and 1 Re-eval.  Not too bad considering my caseload is somewhere between 26 & 29 (Sharon, if you're reading this, sigh with me!)  Yesterday I used every spare minute before, after & during school to finalize these meetings and IEPs.  I think I'm finally done!  None of the meetings are this week, so I'm glad I feel prepared ahead of time. 

Last night I was extremely exhausted, so I happily went to sleep around 8/8:30.  Result?  Naturally waking up at 5AM.  I'm kind of happy with this result.  For the last couple of weeks I've been going to bed around 7 or 8 from either exhaustion or depression.  Even with all of this sleep, I still didn't want to wake up at 6.  Today I got up and did 10 minutes of intro. to Zumba.  It's still a little rough, but I'm glad I pushed through...and no falling!  :)

I also did a ton of dishes, cleaned the kitchen and put some other dishes (and the tray from the microwave...eww!) in the sink to soak.  :)  Biggest/most exciting complement of the day?  Starting an official list of things to do when mom gets here.  It includes tricking her into going to the Space Needle (I think she's nervous about the elevators), going to the Melting Pot, and organizing my medical files (matching EOBs to paid bill slips)...Woohoo!!  If anyone thinks of fun & easy post-surgery ideas, let me know!  (Especially in Seattle!)

Well, I'm off to get some gas (last time it was $4.15/$4.19...ugh).  Pray for safe travels.  It's supposed to snow here lately, and that can get tricky with the mixture of hills, city roads, not as experienced drivers, etc.  

Much Love!

One step at a time

Oh, blog, how I have missed you!  It's hard to believe it's been since September that I've written!  How sad!  I've been a busy, busy girl getting into the swing of things at work.  I'm proud to say that I've been making some positive changes in my life lately, and I really wanted to (along with the suggestion of my lovely sister-in-law) document these changes and the journey I'm taking.  So...here I am!

On January 15th, 2012, I signed up to join the online version of Weight Watchers.  Result - best decision ever!  This weekend I fit into jeans 1 size smaller than previously!  Bob and I have been working together very hard to create healthy lifestyles.  My mother has been doing Weight Watchers, as well, and we've formed a great support teams for ourselves!  I'm loving experimenting with tons of new foods and styles of cooking.  One of my absolute favorite things ever: Farmer's Markets!  There are 2 in the Seattle area that are year-round!  It's so great and fun!

I've also incorporated my newfound love of www.pinterest.com into my new lifestyle.  Here's my newest creation:

This latter picture is of my creation in its permanent place - on the bathroom vanity so I can be inspired everyday!  

If you are my friend on Facebook, you also might know that I've created a Lent challenge to try 40 new healthy foods in 40 days.  It's going pretty well!  Of course, it's also extremely exciting!  I've never seen our fruit basket (well, this is a new one - LOVE it!) so full of foods...all the time!

Along with eating right comes, of course, exercise.  It's officially been 7 weeks since I've joined WW, and I really was hoping I would have been in an exercise routine by now.  Truth is, that simply hasn't happened. I worked out with weights and a treadmill a few different times in our fitness center, have done a 10 minute hip hop workout from Netflix and most recently, tonight, did an intro. to some Zumba DVDs that I purchased.  I know I will get out of this rut eventually, as the exercise is so vital to a healthy lifestyle.  It will just take some time.  :)

One of the down points of the exercise is that my Myasthenia Gravis has begun spiraling again lately.  Today is the worst it's been in awhile.  I struggled greatly to get out of bed on my own, and I was fearful of falling quite a few times when out running errands.  The weakness is felt greatly in my fingers as I type, also.  I hope that the new diet changes are doing nothing but helping me to improve, though.  It takes a lot to beat all of these steroids, though! ;)

Another down point has been my own mind.  I am very pleased to say that I haven't gone over my points allowance once while following WW this time around.  I have been very disciplined, but I haven't felt deprived.  It's wonderful!  However, living in Seattle, not having many close friends here and simply missing my family so greatly has really gotten me down.  The holidays were very tough on me, and I'm just now starting to come out of a slump.  I had an appointment with a new psychiatrist last Friday, and I will be seeing him weekly. He.Is.Amazing.  He's so personable and I can't wait until my next session!  A few things we decided to work on I'll keep private, but others I'm excited to share.  One challenge was to read more books.  I haven't read in so long!  I went to the library with Bob on Saturday (side note - the downtown library is always a WONDERFUL place to go!), and we got 5 or 6 books.  I stayed up until 3AM last night finishing one. :)  Let me know if you have any suggestions!  I'm currently looking at Pulitzer Prize winning books along with a few others.  I also subscribed to The Seattle Times - Sunday edition.  Haven't gotten the first issue yet, though (it's actual a mystery as to where that might be....).

Anyway, I've been taking this one day at a time and one step at a time, and what I'm looking forward to most right now is the surgery I will be having for my MG.  I'm hoping this will be a major positive change in the MG.  Also, my mom is flying out to help with the recovery phase!!!  There are only about 3 weeks left until surgery, and I quite honestly can't wait.  I'm hoping for some great results!


Well, it has been quite the update.  As always, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated, and I'd love to keep you in mine if you would like to share any requests.  Please comment as Words of Affirmation are by far my Love Language!  :)  They get me through so much!

Much love!