The Up and Down Ride

Hey Friends!
I just wanted to write a quick post to update you on the goal.  I weighed in this morning and the new number was....

215.3

I've been having a lot of ups and downs, so I'm very glad that I've been doing well this week.  As some of you may know, I just recently returned from a FANTASTIC trip to the Alpha Phi Omega National Volunteer Conference in Kansas City, MO.  The ONLY downside to that trip was that I didn't do too well with Weight Watchers on the trip.  Yes, I have done a TON worse on road trips, but I also could have done better.

Hubby and I will be moving soon to another apartment in the area.  When we do, I am excited to start some aquatic group exercise classes at the local YMCA. Until then, I have to save up some money for some other things.

Other than that, I'm just enjoying the last bits of summer until school starts again!  Thank you SOOO much to all of you who have shown your love and support so far on this journey!

Much love,
Katie

The New Challenge

Hello, everyone! 

It’s obviously been quite some time since I’ve posted.  I haven’t felt very compelled to write in here in the past few months, but I recently felt the urge to blog again. 

Just a few nights ago I found myself realizing how close I am to my goal weight.  While some people may think it is really still so far away (yes, it’s still around 100 pounds away),  it’s a lot closer than it used to be!  

When reflecting on how little I've come since a year ago or even a few months ago, I'm immediately disappointed, but I'm trying to remember that this is a lifestyle change and a journey...it's not a race.  I realized that in just a year I could healthily be at my goal weight!

  

For that to be possible is just amazing to me! 

Anyway, to help push me and inspire me, I have decided to dedicate small groups of weight loss to special people in my life.  

The current number is…..

219

I obviously have been bouncing on and off of the healthy lifestyle for awhile now.  While I focus on losing pounds 219 – 210, I will be thinking of a very special group of people in my life.  I will be thinking of YOU!  

Because of the special readers that have been reading this blog and those who have let me know that they have been reading through comments on here, Facebook comments, or face to face comments in real life, I have been inspired and pushed to go further in my goals.  These pounds will be pushed off for YOU.  And believe me…these have been DIFFICULT!  Please help me and encourage me in any way you can as I try this new challenge in the big push of the healthy lifestyle!

Much love, 

Katie

  

A Cold & MG

So I've been feeling not so great lately.  I've been getting a cold, and it doesn't help that my room at work is freezing.  I sat in my winter coat at lunch debating if I should go sit in my car blasting the warm heat.  That mixed with my MG has led to not much exercise lately.  I'll be honest, I probably could have exercised more, but I didn't really know what to do because of the MG.  My muscles were getting so tired so easily, and I didn't want to start falling more and have to ask the hubby for help bathing and dressing again.  That's just not (always) fun!  So with great timing, I had a neurologist appointment yesterday.  I think he really wants to put me back on steroids again.  He knows I REALLY don't want that, so he's not going to for right now.  The saving grace?  I can still breath.  Yes, my friends.  A lot of people with MG have problems breathing and chewing, etc., so I'm very lucky that most of my problems are my legs and arms.  If I have problems breathing, chewing or swallowing, I think he's probably going to throw those steroids down my throat.  He did mention that there are MG specialist doctors, and I could consider going to one.  I didn't even know this prior to yesterday, so I think I'm going to strongly consider this.  I really had hoped that the thymectomy had fixed a lot of the problems...at least for longer than a year.

Anyway, I have officially lost 50 pounds.  It is just so amazing!  The latest and greatest number is...

225

Less than 100 pounds to final goal weight!!!  

Much love!

The Green-Eyed Monster (and the number)

The Green-Eyed Monster.  I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my jealousy in the last couple of weeks.  I'm extremely grateful to have such an honest and caring husband who helps me figure things out about myself in order to allow me to work on those things.  Recently, I straightforwardly asked him why he thought I might be so competitive.  I always want to be better than others, particularly girls.  Without hesitation, he answered that it's probably because my low self esteem.  I was so shocked that this was so obvious to him!  After thinking about it for awhile, though, I realize he is completely right.  Does that make me any less jealous?  Not particularly, although I'd like to be.
1)  This is just mean sometimes!  I don't want to lose friends over something like this!
2)  It's just time consuming!  For example, if I'm going out with friends, it already takes long enough to get ready, but then to try to make sure I look my best in order to not look absolutely horrendous next to the pretty girl going out with us (even if it IS a good friend) takes a lot of time and effort!

My friend *J* is the sweetest girl ever...we met in college and I love that girl to death.  She has been working on weight loss so hard!  Just today, she posted that she has gone from a size 13/14 to a size 6/8!!!  Wow!!!  She moved out of state, started a new job and LOST weight instead of gaining it like a lot of people would.  And not only lost weight, but lost  A LOT of weight!  That girl is amazing!  So thankfully my first reaction was sincere PROUDNESS.  I know how hard it is to lose weight, but she's been going to the gym and watching what she eats - everything.  After a minute or two, I got jealous, though.  Ugh...horrible jealousy!  Why can't I get these results, too!  I've been working so hard!  But I know she's been working MUCH HARDER than I have - going to the gym all the time, working with a personal trainer, etc. - so she deserves those results 110%.  So, my love, I'm sorry that my jealousy came out (even though you don't know about it 'til now ;), and I'm so happy for you and proud of you, and I hope you realize that!!

So I went to talk to my husband about this, and he had quite a few things to say to me about the topic, and about me losing weight slowly.  Then I talked some more to my lovely friend Janet who has ALWAYS been there for me even when I was a chubby chubster.  She's always suggesting new ideas to me for anything with which I need help.  So after our talk, I think I'll be switching up the exercise a little bit.  I'll for sure be adding in some weights after the walking.  So hopefully I'll be able to keep on trucking until I get to my finish line!

And after all of that, I'll let you know that the number this morning was... 232.9.  

Am I EVER going to get out of the 230s?!?!?!  It seems like it's taking forever!

I've also been in search of some new foods since I've been making a lot of the same things lately.  Hubby and I have been very happy with a new pizza recipe.  We use Flat-outs and reduced fat cheese.  I've been putting mushrooms and turkey pepperoni on mine.  Yumm!  I also made a new soup with green beans, potatoes, ham and water.  The batch makes about 10 servings that are only 3 points plus each!!!  For a long time, I usually have split up crackers, chips, etc. into 1 serving size bags at the beginning of the week, but I've recently been doing that with our grapes, too.  I'm so grateful, because those things take forever!

Well, off to do more laundry!

Much Love!

Walking and Water

I'm so pumped that I was very easily able to complete my second day of walking. I was really worried when I woke up so tired this morning and had a somewhat stressful day at work. But as I drove home, I was not only ready to walk, I was excited. I think the thing that is so different is that I KNOW I can do it. I don't have to worry or be fearful. My muscles are at a good enough point (as far as the MG goes) and I'm healthy enough that I can walk 30 minutes without a problem!  So I changed, grabbed my iPad so I'd have reading material and headed out the door right away! Side note-I actually drove to the fitness center of our apartment because I nearly fell 4 times on black ice on my walk yesterday. Yikes! I started reading my book and listening to music and decided to check the time after what I thought was around 7 minutes only to find out it was actually 12 minutes already! The next time I checked, it was 20 minutes! So I finished the workout with ease.  :). I once again felt an urge to do some strength training, but I just worry about pushing it... :/

As far as water goes, I cut it much closer today than yesterday. I totally forget to drink water all day at work, then forgot water again during my workout! I drank 1 glass after workout/ during dinner, but then forgot to drink again until just now finishing off my second glass. Oh, we'll! That's why my goal for this week is 2 glasses!  :)

So here's to my excitement to work out again tomorrow! Woot, woot!

Much Love!

Sunday Nights, Water & Exercise

Sunday nights, one of the most dreaded nights of the week.  OK, probably actually the worst night of the week.  I know a lot of it is my anxiety heightening everything, but...UGH...I just don't want to go back to work.  :/
Oh well, at least I have a job.  And it's in my career field.  And...I have other things to look forward to after work.  :)
In college, Sunday nights weren't really that bad.  AOII and APhiO meetings were ALWAYS on Sundays, so it was a time I looked forward to - sharing everything I loved with all of my closest friends. <3

Anyway, today was an interesting and VERY good day.  Last year, I lost a total of 40 pounds, as I previously wrote about in another post.  I did this without a whole lot of exercise.  Realizing that I could lose 40 pounds without a lot of exercise, I was really curious to see what I could do with healthy eating AND exercise.  I know it's not the most perfect thing to do, but I really enjoy starting new routines on Sundays.  Therefore, I started this morning with a 30 minute walk on the treadmill in our fitness center.  I thought quite a bit about what form of exercise to do, but walking seemed like the only thing at this time that would be least overwhelming enough that I would actually keep up with it.  I wanted to find different programs with different inclines and speeds, but I'm going to save that for later months.  For right now, I am just going to try to walk 30 minutes a day as often as I can.  I think I'm kind of hoping for 6 days a week, although I don't have a set rest day.  At this time, I'm also hoping to do this right after school.  I enjoyed the walking today, but that was after waking up without an alarm clock and not having anything else to do immediately.  I hope that I can continue this past the first few days in which I might just be exhausted after work.  I eventually want to work in weight machines.  Not to be superwoman, but just for some basic muscle and toning.  I used to be so much stronger!  
 
Also in a previous post, I had posted about wanting to give something up.  Thanks so much to those of you who gave me ideas.  I've decided that I'm going to try to drink 8 glasses of water a day.  The number might go down, because my friend Meli told me that 3 - 5 glasses a day is enough.  I'm definitely seeing how that could be possible.  Already on day 1, I wonder why I didn't want to do this sooner!  I drank 1 glass before/during/after walking, and then 2 more throughout the day.  I'm finishing up glass 4 as I type.  Even during the first couple of glasses, I felt so full!  Three of the four glasses were straight water, and 1 of them was flavored with Crystal Light Appletini flavor.  Yum!  :)  I am aiming for 2 glasses a day this week, 3 glasses a day next week, and 4 glasses a day after that.

Next time I decide to give up/add something as a "rule" to my lifestyle, I think I'm going to go with making sure I eat a fruit or veggie every day, then maybe switch it to with every dinner or something similar.  I pretty much always eat fruit, so that might not be too bad.  But that's for a couple of months from now!  :)

Have a good week, everyone!
Much Love!

A New Year

Current Number: 235

I've spent the last week or so reflecting on 2012, as I'm sure a lot of you have done.   A large portion of the reflecting has been based on my weight/weight loss, as much of 2012 was spent.  When I say this, it might seem like I'm dreading it, or thinking about all that I still have to lose.  I'm proud to say that I have actually been quite positive in my thinking.  I've lost 40 pounds in 2012!  That's amazing!  I think back to how many lapses I've had...even a month or so at a time, and I still lost 40 pounds!  That makes me feel so empowered to do EVEN BETTER in 2013.  I don't know if anyone else does this, but I often find myself calculating just how long it will take me to lose the weight I need to lose to get to my goal weight.  This is the first year I can realistically find myself at my goal weight in 365 days.  That, my friends, is amazing!  Speaking of goal weight, I have a few different goal weights.  My overall goal weight is 130 pounds.  Being overweight pretty much all of my life, I don't know how realistic this is.  Maybe I'll get to 150 and be happy with how I look.  Maybe I'll notice I can go much lower than 130.  Another goal weight is 140 pounds.  This is the weight I need to be (approximately) to be within a healthy BMI.

And last, but not least, are 2 goal "areas".  The first is to be able to comfortably fit into any size 18 jean.  Some of you might already know why I say this.  Size 18 is often the largest size that stores will carry.  I used to buy a lot of jeans at American Eagle, but they're not a plus size store, so I'm not able to shop there anymore.  And the last goal area is to fit into a size 12-15 comfortably.  The point of this goal is to be able to buy clothes in most stores as a lot of stores that aren't plus size that DO offer sizes up to 18 often require that you go online to buy the bigger sizes.  This time of year in 2012 has found me resting somewhere between a size 18 and 22 jean.  The highest I ever had, this time last year, was a size 28.

So a lot of this might have been a little boring to read (sorry!), but what I've been discussing brings me to another point of my reflecting.  I've noticed 1 major thing in particular that has changed with my weight loss this year, and I couldn't think of many others, although I'm sure there are a lot!  I wanted to document what has become easier for me in everyday life, and what I'm excited for becoming easier.  So, here it goes!

Things that became easier in 2012:

I'll never have to ask for a seatbelt extender on an airplane again!  (This was a big one!)
I can walk further/easier than before (with the exception of the Myasthenia Gravis on occasion).
Giving up all bread before meals. (Since somewhere around October 2012!)
Giving up coffee. (Since January 2012!)
Giving up pop. (Since January 2012!)


Things that I'm looking forward to in 2013 and beyond:
Finding MY exercise (I still haven't found anything that is perfect for me).
Perhaps running someday.
Seeing my muscles develop again!
Buying clothes in a store that doesn't cater to the plus size crowd.
Finding another area to give up (such as bread, coffee or pop).  Please comment with suggestions if you have them!  :)


So this has been somewhat of a rambling, but I've been off and on planes and in 3 different time zones in the last 24 hours, so please forgive me.  :)

Much Love!

Christmas, 2012, The Number & Exercise

Christmas, 2012, The Number & Exercise

It's been quite a long time since I've written in here - a little over 2 months.  Wow!  I've been fighting some demons from within quite frequently lately, and it hasn't been very fun.  Therefore, I haven't had much of a desire to blog.  Tonight, I think I'm up for it...So what's been going on...

Christmas (in Ohio!) is coming!
I've been super excited for our first Christmas back in Ohio!  Bob and I ended up decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving day since our Thanksgiving plans were a little turned around.  We actually get a tree skirt and a star for the tree this year, so that felt a little more complete.

Unfortunately, we're tight on money, so we don't have many other decorations besides a wreath.  I'd love to get some lit up garland for outside next year.  We have one garland right now, but it only reaches about 1/3 of the banister.  However, decorations are not that important in the long run.  :)  We have many gifts wrapped under the tree all ready to go to their owners.  I admit that I do have a bit of a problem in I usually like to buy the hubby tons of gifts, so he's lucky there are only 4 (I think) gifts wrapped for him this year!  We still have some gifts to buy and wrap for family and other friends, and I'm very excited to do that!

2012
The year has brought three different jobs for me and life in two different states.  It has been quite crazy, but I wouldn't trade being back in Ohio for anything (OK, it'd be nice if Bob was 100% happy with being back in Ohio right now).  I'm grateful that I have a job, no matter how much stress I receive from day to day, at least I am bringing in money and able to live  with a roof over my head.  It's been a big year for many people!  I saw this video today that a friend shared on Facebook.  One part in particular had me in full on tears:

http://news.yahoo.com/year-in-review-2012-video-inspiring-astounding-moments-042418776.html
 

New Year's Resolutions
Although it's not quite 2013, my brain has been on the path to be working toward new resolutions.  Last January, I gave up pop/soda and coffee.  I have done extremely well with these goals!  The only time I've had any is when I've had mixed alcoholic drinks that may have had pop/soda in them.  I try to avoid it still in mixed drinks, but I will make exceptions from time to time.  Any suggestions for new resolutions?  Of course I'm always working on weight loss, but I want to work on something a little separate from that.  I'm open to ideas!  Comment and leave me some!

The Number

As just mentioned, I'm always working on weight loss.  I think I definitely could have lost more weight this year, but I am also proud of how much I have lost.  Losing the weight slowly, they say, means that I'm more likely to keep it off.  That said, I have lost (to date) ~40 pounds this year!  I still have a few more weeks left, and I'm hoping to make it around 45 for the year of 2012.  I'm sure that at the rate I'm eating clementines (4 each day currently), I'll keep filling up pretty quickly!  The above picture is from February 22nd, 2012, which is just after the start of my weight loss journey.  It's a little inspirational as I can see a little bit of a difference compared to a newer picture from  September 16th 2012.  So in case you haven't read before or can't do the math for some other reason, the newest number is right around

235 pounds

Woohoo!  I'm at a mixture of emotions.  When  I compare that number to the starting point, I am SO PROUD!  But when I just look at it without comparison, I'm so embarrassed at how I've let myself get this fat. ugly. disgusting. (OK...stay semi-positive) overweight.  Anyway, my hope is to lose 50 pounds in the year 2013.  It's hard thinking that, because I was hoping to be at that weight at the end of this year, but I was setting my hopes a little too high back in January 2012, I guess.  Hubby said he will join me in following the Weight Watchers plan in January, so we'll see if that has any impact on how I do on my weight loss.  

Exercise
I'm definitely doing well with following Weight Watchers, and I'm even really enjoying following the plan, trying new healthy foods and experimenting with recipes.  Apparently there's another aspect to this weight loss thing called exercise?!  Who ever decided to include this?!  So all you freaks. lunatics. crazy people.  people I'll just admit I'm jealous of, share your secret.  Give me your favorites or what you think might work for me.  I'd LOVE to hear it!  :)

So let me know all your thoughts on Resolutions and Exercise and anything else that's on your mind!
Much Love!
Katie

10 Things You (Probably) Don't Know About Me

Credit for this idea? - Haley. :) Thanks, friend!

http://haleyhite.tumblr.com/post/30467459395/10-things-you-probably-dont-know-about-me 

1)  I often consider what it would be like in different careers.  This may sound pretty normal for a lot of people.  Sometimes I think it'd be fun to do something else like psychiatry or counseling.  I often think about being a nutritionist, but I have to take my own advice first.  I think it'd be fun to open a restaurant, too.  :)

2)  I am completely awful at video games.  I'm awful in numerous ways.  I cannot for the life of me figure out Lego video games.  I'm just so horrible at them.  They hubby refuses to play with me anymore.  When I play games like 007 and sometimes even Mario, I freak out about dying and scream, cover my eyes and my palms start sweating.  Crazy...but I still like it!

3)  I have a scar on my left butt cheek.  When I was younger, I climbed onto the counter to get a bowl from the cupboard.  Upon attempting to get down, I slipped and the cabinet handle that runs vertically nailed me in the bum. OUCH!  Worst part, my Little Mermaid underwear was ruined!

4)  I'm scared I won't be able to have kids one day.  It's a huge dream of mine (like many other people) to have kids one day.  A couple of years ago, I had a huge ovarian cyst removed.  It was laying across all of my stomach organs (PLEASE ask to see the picture.  It's so amazing, but kind of too graphic to just put on here).  Anyway, it was large enough that they had to remove 1 ovary.  I recently found another hard spot on my stomach, and I'm scared something else is wrong and they'll have to remove the other ovary.  Of course, there are countless other things that could go wrong, but it's just kind of scary to think about.

5)  I have a slight obsession with my Build A Bears.  Four years ago I got my first Build A Bear, Harvard, and I have been obsessed with him and Lafayette (who followed 2 months later).  They have tons of clothes, sleep with me every night, and it gets worse.  Anyway, they started helping me with my anxiety issues and kind of talking me through things, so they've definitely earned their place.  That's just how it is.  :)

6)  Water is extremely calming to me.  This also stems from my anxiety issues.  I was on the swim team in high school, and I believe my calmness came from swimming.  We used to do 1/2 hour swims a lot where we just tried to swim as many laps as possible in 30 minutes.  A lot of swimmers hated this.  Although I was a sprinter, these 30 minute swims were a calming reflection time to me.  When my anxiety got really bad, I realized that swimming still calmed me.  Since that wasn't always possible, I discovered that long showers also helped along with carrying a bottle of water with me everywhere just in case.  Win.  I also love rain and thunderstorms, but that could just be because they're so beautiful! (When not harmful).

7)  I love popcorn!  I get super excited about popcorn at the movies, baseball games, and anything in between.  I love popping it at home, and I pretty much consider it a food group.  

8)  I love traveling.  This one isn't as exciting, because I know a lot of people enjoy it.  While I would love to travel to different countries, I focus more on doable trips within closer distances.  These are more budget friendly at the time, so I actually get to complete them.  It was great living in Seattle, and I wish we would have had more time and money to visit places, but we will someday!  I love hotels alone, besides all the germs.  I love the experience and excitement of a new place, wherever it is.  Hocking Hills is next on the travel list, I believe.

9)  I hate family get togethers.  I love my family, and I love visiting with them, but not altogether.  For 1 side of the family, that can just lead to a ton of people in a few tiny rooms...Crazy anxiety...everyone yelling so loudly...it just gets too crazy.  The other aspect is that I feel sooo incompatible with all of my family members.  Everyone has a 1 (or 100) up on me whether it is looks, career, personality, or all of the above.  I feel like I don't have much to offer to the group, so I get very intimidated.

10)  I support Barack Obama.  Did I vote for him? No.  Will I vote for him this time?  (I'll keep you guessing on that one).  Is he our President?  YES.  Does that mean that he deserves our respect 100% from the day he steps into office?  YES.  I firmly believe that no matter who you vote for, you should always respect our President.  

Well, hopefully that was a little entertaining for you.  I'd love to see more people post things I don't know about you!!

This isn't easy.

Well it's been a rough 24 hours, but after finally talking to my mother, I feel strong enough to write about it.
Yesterday after work, Bob and I went to Ruby Tuesday.  I was really good and got salmon, broccoli and the salad bar (and did well on the tricky salad bar).  On the way home, Bob wanted to get some snack food for the night, so I also got some chips...and ate half the bag last night.  Fail.  I had the rest today.  I also had Panda Express for lunch and Marco's Pizza for dinner.  Obviously...not doing too great on that.
The thing is, it's not like I was insanely craving this food.  This eating, from the last 24 hours, was totally from emotion.  Bob says I often eat out of boredom, and that I don't usually see.  This time, I knew I was eating because I was sad and upset and frustrated.
It's a never ending circle.  I worked really hard this week and didn't miss a workout, but I had actually gained at least a pound as of my unofficial weigh-in.  When I have a bad weight, I just do worse.  The good ones spur me on.  I'm not letting this get the best of me, and I will turn it around right now...just have to get it all out there and admit it so I can move on.

The good news?
-I realize the eating was from being upset and sad.  It's not that I couldn't handle a craving.
-I started a workout today and did 20 minutes of it (before getting so upset that I stopped).  The point is, I worked out today.
-My bad eating has lasted 24 hours or less.  I've done A LOT worse.
-I have lots of healthy recipes to try out next week.

So here's to the failures that make me stronger and to having 2nd (or 324092nd) chances.

Haunting

It hasn't been too great of a day.  I woke up with a killer migraine..the kind that makes my head bob back and forth from the pain pulsing.  I decided a workout was out of the question as I couldn't move much, so I took medicine and went back to sleep for about 30 minutes.  The shower didn't help much, but off I went to work.  I took a half day off and came home, only stopping to get some soup, medicine and redbox picks.  My migraine is wearing off, but on comes that ridiculously haunting anxiety for some reason.  Why today?  What am I worried about?  I've been thinking about my job a lot lately.  Is it what I still want to do?  Who knows.  Who knows what I really want to do in life.  Is this it?  I don't know.  Is it better than having no job?  Yes.  I still feel fat.  Some days I think I feel skinnier...I think I look skinnier.  I wonder if I'll feel fat when I'm actually skinny.  If I hit my goal weight, will I still see the huge balloon when I look in the mirror?  I want to lay in the shower. I'm scared I can't handle that right now...the temptation.  Maybe with some help I can...maybe.  I need to workout.  I'll do that soon.  Maybe that will make me feel better.  I know it's supposed to.  This feeling sucks.  I'm an adult now, I'm supposed to be over this.  I think I need to see a doctor again.  I don't even like how the doctors deal with it.  They don't care...they don't care about me personally.  I think the husband cares, but he's probably so sick of dealing with it, too...just like he's sick of dealing with a lot of things I have going on.  hopefully happier thoughts later.

The Number & The New Rule

I lost 5.4 pounds this week.  Oh.My.Gosh.  I did not expect this at all!  I am on such a high right now!  I had to wake up Bob and share the news because...THIS IS HUGE!  I'm so incredibly proud of myself and the choices I made!  This is how the rest of my life is going to be!  Highlights of the week:

Saturday - did my first Slim in 6 and drank  my first Shakeology, because I was just too excited to try them.

Sunday - excitedly woke up to do Slim in 6 and drink Shakeology again

Monday - Had my first experience in FOREVER of waking up before work to work out.  Made the rest of my day go great. ALSO become full with the help of Shakeology...(Thank you for getting me through the day!)  Went out to dinner with Bob at an Italian restaurant...ordered fish and had some wine

Thursday - Long day at school because of volleyball practice afterward.  Still thankful for Shakeology

Friday - Went out to eat with Bob at Cheesecake Factory and implemented my no bread/no dessert rule for the first time

Saturday - Had one of the best times I've had all year with Jami, Jenn, Bob and a little bit of alcohol...I was worried this was going to push me over the edge with points, but I did pretty well.

Sunday - Weighed in at...

239.7 

Honestly, I thought I was easing myself into this!  I went out to eat twice (not including the 2 Subway visits), but I made smart choices, drank my Shakeology, and did my workouts!  Wow!  Amazing!

On another note - my no bread/no dessert rule.  As you know, I've cut pop and coffee out of my diet.  Occasionally I have pop when it's mixed with a drink at a restaurant, but generally I don't.  I want to keep pushing myself with new rules like this, but I can't stand having them too broad, like "no sweets".  Maybe that will happen someday, but that can include so many things that it's not clear enough for me.  

So, I decided that I won't eat the bread served before a meal OR any dessert when I go out to eat at a restaurant.  First trial - Cheesecake Factory.  I did so well with this rule!  The bread smelled divine, but Bob and I did a good job about talking about other things.  We had the waiter take the menus away and told him right away that we weren't going to be ordering dessert.  

I think it helped that I didn't question it.  I just knew going in that I wouldn't be eating bread or dessert.  Woot woot! 

Well I have to get going on my Sunday chores - cleaning up the apartment, laundry, etc. and enjoying my Slim in 6 and Shakeology!  

Thanks so much to all of you who read this, let me know you read it, comment, encourage me, etc.  It truly helps me each and every day! 

Much Love!

Falling in Love

Yep...I'm definitely falling in love with Shakeology.  Slim in 6?  It's becoming a good friend.  :)

Seriously.  I added 3 ice cubes to my Shakeology this morning, and it got EVEN BETTER!  Three ice cubes?!  Who would've thought it would make such a difference?!  The consistency changed so much for the better.  I got watermelon, pineapple, blueberries, blackberries & raspberries to try in it, too!  Woot woot!  I'm so pumped!  I was fully AGAIN today, which I believe is obviously an effect of the Shakeology.  <3

I did Slim in 6 this morning again, which makes 5 days in a row!  I'm so proud of myself!  It's a huge accomplishment for me!  The waking up early definitely isn't fun, especially on Wednesdays as I have an earlier meeting at work, so I have to wake up at 5:15.  :(  It's well worth it, though!  I keep flexing my muscles and making Bob feel them.  :)

While I realize I'm not supposed to weigh myself too often, I couldn't help myself.  I wanted to weigh myself tonight, and I decided I'd go ahead and do it, and if I hadn't lost weight, I'd be OK with it since I had a full outfit on, I'd eaten a lot, etc.  Well I lost 1 pound already!  That's with the water weight, food weight (or whatever), AND clothes!  I just can't believe how low "The Number" has gotten!!  I've gone from 275 pounds to (as of tonight) 244!!

I'm getting there, slowly but surely.  And quite honestly, if it wasn't slowly, it wouldn't be for good!

The strangest feeling & Baring my soul

Of all of my friends who I know read this blog, I don't know if any of you at all will be able to understand what I'm about to tell you.  I very, very rarely get full.  I don't feel full.  I can eat 1/2 a large pizza, 1/2 an order of breadsticks, and a dessert and still probably be able to stuff more food in.  It sucks.  It's part of how I got where I am today, but it's one of the feelings I acknowledge I have to overcome.  Life has been nicer now that Bob knows about this.  He knows that I will eat at a restaurant and need to eat again an hour later.

The time has come though, friends.  I have been full not once, not twice, but THREE times in the last 2 days.  THREE TIMES!  What the heck happened?!  It's absolutely amazing!  The feeling of not wanting, not "NEEDING" to eat.  It's amazing!  Do not take this for granted, my friends!  The amazing, wonderful, source of this fullness?!  SHAKEOLOGY!  I have loyally been having 1 shake a day, partly because I wanted to stick with it, partly because I already have about 2 months of shake already bought, and partly because I haven't even tried Chocolate yet.  Example 1 of being full (easily one of the top 10 moments of my life).  I was eating lunch today.  In case you're interested, I'm going to tell you about my sandwich, because it was amazing.  I don't remember the last time I had a sandwich on regular bread.  Sandwich thins all the way!  I'm a carb girl, but if it's not good bread, then sandwich thins are the boss.  So I took those sandwich thins and spread a little bit of laughing cow spreadable cheese on each bun (the flavor was Sundried tomato & basil in case you're interested).  I then put some turkey on it and some Fakon.  If you haven't tried Fakon, I love it.  It's microwaveable bacon that's not that high in points.  (Keep in mind I'm obviously still not eating the healthiest of meals that I strive for someday).  But I ate this sandwich and a handful of grapes.  I realized I had about 10 minutes left in lunch and I should eat something else.  I looked in my lunch for what I should eat next, and it hit me (this was the 3rd sensation in 2 days).  I was full again!  I didnt want any more food.  The thought of putting more food in my mouth made my stomach hurt.  It was amazing!  I wanted to dance to my next class! (But my ass still hurt from the workout this morning, so I couldn't dance up the stairs). So, my friends.  I'm not the biggest person on trying to sell things.  If I don't like it, I don't like it.  But for me to be full means that they must be doing SOMETHING right!

Anyway...I thought it was hard enough to reveal my actual weight on here, but now that that's over, it really wasn't that bad.  No, nobody came up to me on the street yelling out the horrifying number and ran away laughing.  So, I've survived.  In starting Slim in 6 and Shakeology, along with a challenge group from my wonderful Beachbody coach, Kayla, it's come time that I finally measure myself again.

Measuring...oh, how I loathe thee.  It's not so much that the inches bother me.  I mean, obviously they do, but the scale bothers me more.  It's because I could measure myself and then do it again 10 seconds later and have a completely different measurement.  I need to get tattoos of where the measurements were taken.  It's just kinda ridiculous, so even if it says I've lost inches, I never know whether to believe myself or not.  The simplest ways I've found to do this are to 1)  Have someone else (Bob) measure me.  2)  Measure without clothes (hence Bob measuring me).  Also, I measure the waist right over my fake, surgically operated into place belly button.  That at least helps the waist measurement.  He says he remembers the rest, but we'll see how that turns out in ~30 days.

Anyway...baring my soul.  For ...well, I don't really know the exact reason I'm putting these numbers on here.  I guess it makes it a lot easier to talk about things and get them in the open.  So...
Chest - 51.5"  (honestly, I'm OK with that one...I'll take 50 inches of boob any day.  Just kidding.  Take away the back fat, please).
Waist - 52"
Hips - 53"
R Upper thigh - 29"
L Upper thigh - 28.5"
R Arm - 15"
L Arm - 14.5"

Grand total - 243.5"  Awesome.  Bright side?  The only way (hopefully) is down.

So, if you're laughing, that's OK. If your jaw dropped, that's OK.  I'm glad it's in your own home and not in public in front of me. :)

If you're telling me I can do it...openly or secretly cheering me on, praying for me, wishing and hoping that I can do it, that's OK too.  I believe I can do it.  I've gotten off track since I officially decided to change my life in January, but I've never once given up and said that I just couldn't do it.  I may not be my goal weight for my friends wedding, but I will be healthier, and eventually I WILL be happy with this body that God has given me!

Much Love!

The Number, The Plan & The New Look

Well I think I'm finally getting all settled into the new place.  We still have a few boxes that need unpacked - mostly in the office.  The kitchen is all set up, as are the gaming systems in the living room, so hopefully my exercise and eating routines will be back to normal.  :)

I started doing Slim in 6 yesterday, and I feel amazing!  I did it yesterday and today right after I woke up, which is definitely a good idea for me.  If I hold off on it, I just have it looming the whole day.  There are definitely a few parts that are still challenging for me (i.e. push ups!!), but most of it pushes me just the right amount!  I have interesting flashbacks each time I try to do push ups as one of the first symptoms I had of MG was falling on my face/chest when doing push ups.  Man, did that hurt!  Rug burn on your chest is not very comfortable!





I do, however, looovvveee the resistance bands.  I could definitely do those for a long time!

I drank my first Shakeology on Friday, and I wasn't that thrilled.  I mixed water, ice & Shakeology and didn't like it much at all.  I had my second one yesterday, and I put  milk in instead of water and added a banana.  That was definitely an improvement.  I stopped at the store today and got almond milk and honey, so I'm going to try to mix things up a little more.  Wish me luck with that!

And finally, I weighed myself Thursday night.  I knew it was night, I'd eaten, and it would not be an accurate weight.  I did this on purpose so I could be forewarned if my weight had taken a turn for the worse.  However, I was still definitely under 250!  This was sooo reassuring!  My official Sunday weigh-in for today was 254.1!  Woot woot!  I'm definitely OK with that considering how unhealthy my diet was the past couple of weeks.  So here's to getting back on track!

Last, but not least, I went to a great hairdresser today - Darren from Jekyll & Hyde Salon.  O.M.G.  In love!  He's amazing and I'm totally happy with the results!  Here's a view of the newest cut & color!

Roadblock

Wow!  I don't even remember the last time I wrote in here!  That's sad! :(  A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks.  To sum it all up, I got a job interview while I was visiting Ohio, got offered the job the same day, and will not be going back to Seattle!  I cancelled my flight back, and Bob will finally be arriving in Ohio tomorrow to keep me company in our wonderful new apartment.  It's been about 2 weeks since we've seen each other (a friend's wedding), and over a month since we've lived together.  I realize now how much I took for granted just with being around him, hugging and kissing him goodbye each day, and having his body next to mine at night.  I can't wait to give him a huge hug and just hold him for a bit!  

While things have been so up in the air, I have been doing an absolutely horrible job with watching what I eat.  I just checked my Weight Watchers online, and I haven't logged a weigh-in in 5 weeks.  I have no clue how much I weigh since our scale is currently in transit to Ohio.  I fear that I will be back over 250 lbs., and I'm wondering if I should wait a little bit to weigh myself again so I don't get discouraged.  Curiosity will get the best of me, I think.  

Anyway, while I am not happy with myself for going off of my plan so badly, I am proud of myself for realizing that this is just a road block.  I've had them before, and I will have them again.  This IS a lifestyle change, but that also means it will take a lot of work to make permanent changes!  I spent a good amount of time tonight creating a grocery list for tomorrow to get me through the week.  My meals won't be that exciting this week, but hopefully I will make it through until next week  I don't have a  casserole dish, no tupperware for leftovers (only bags), no spices, none of my regular cooking items (flour, spices, bread crumbs, etc), as they are in transit as well.  I really don't want to buy more ingredients that might not be used quickly, so I'm going with some easier recipes this week.  

With school already being in session, I've already had to pack some lunches, and I'm doing my best to find some interesting ones.  I currently do not have much time to microwave lunches.  I will soon hopefully have a fridge and microwave in my room at school.  Until then, I've been doing a lot of tuna in bread pouches.  It's been delish, but I fear I'll get sick of the same thing over and over.  I'm getting ingredients for sandwiches this week such as spreadable laughing cow cheese, lettuce, bacon (FAKEon) and deli meat.  I'm hoping that will be enough to spice things up.  I've also been eating cinnamon applesauce (yum!) and yogurt for lunch.  I've been getting the greek yogurt that has M&Ms or Reeses Pieces to sprinkle in, but I have no clue how many points those are.  I might switch to something else tomorrow, but first I'll see if the candy yogurts are worth the points.  

Lunches are a different story since I'm at school...dinners haven't really been satisfying me, which has led me to want to get pre-made meals or eat out.  Not good for my belly OR my budget!  : /   My current shopping list is very much lacking anything for the dinner department except for frozen dinners, which hardly fill me up.  I do have a lot of healthy snack ideas, such as fruits and vegetables.  At the same time, those are all of the same fruits and vegetables I always eat...I'm running out of ideas!  

I believe this will be one of my biggest issues of this lifestyle changes - While I love having good staples (i.e. taco casserole!!), I routinely need new recipes to try out and mix in.  Pinterest has been absolutely amazing thus far, but I'm not finding new ideas nearly as much as I was before.  

On other news in this category, I ordered Slim in 6 and Shakeology quite a few weeks ago.  They were delivered to Seattle and are now in transit to Ohio.  I absolutely CANNOT wait until I finally get to try them out.  I especially think Shakeology will help me out as I currently usually have an unsatisfying granola bar for breakfast just because I know I need to have some type of breakfast.  

I also am trying to make sure I get plenty of fluids in.  Considering how much I've been going to the restroom lately, I know I've been doing well at this.  I've been drinking a lot of sparkling water and Crystal light.  I'm still in search of the perfect battle - keeps my drink cold, doesn't leak, and has measurements to help me track how much I drink, and is a good size for mixing Crystal Light single serves.  

Sooo...if anyone has any suggestions at all, they would be extremely appreciated!!!  Here's to getting back on track!!

Much Love!