Social Anxiety

...That's what the psychiatrist officially said I have.  It's definitely kicking in today.  First day of my summer vacation that I'm spending alone.  No Bob, no Kyle, no Kelsey.  I thought it would be enjoyable.  By myself, I can't go out into the world.  I can't even open our apartment door.  Bob asked me to go pay rent, and I've been freaking out for about 4 hours now just thinking about having to go to the office.  Some days it gets so bad that I make myself physically sick and end up throwing up.  Now I've just been thinking about what else I'm going to do until I start teaching again in about a week, then I start to freak out about that.  How am i supposed to go to this meeting with all of these other teachers that I don't even know?  And then I'm supposed to teach kids I've never met before, work with other people I've never met?  Oh, goodness...I'm glad it's only 4 weeks.  But after that 4 weeks, what happens?  How am I supposed to face the world?  How am I supposed to do this forever? I have a feeling I should probably still be seeing a psychiatrist.  Problem with that?  I have to go out in public to see one!  ugh!  There is so much anxiety just from going to an appointment...Getting ready, leaving the apartment, actually driving my car, which can bring so many other problems into it, finding a place to park, possibly paying for parking, knowing where to check in, wondering how I look, wondering who is observing me...Typing these all out, it sounds so silly, but they all scare me so much...I just don't want to go anywhere.  At least I haven't gotten physically sick today.  I just can't wait for Bob to get home now...I hope it's soon.  I'm not going to post this one on Facebook, so I doubt anyone will ever see it, but that's ok.  I think sometimes you just need to get the feelings out there.  Wish me luck.