Well it's been a rough 24 hours, but after finally talking to my mother, I feel strong enough to write about it.
Yesterday after work, Bob and I went to Ruby Tuesday. I was really good and got salmon, broccoli and the salad bar (and did well on the tricky salad bar). On the way home, Bob wanted to get some snack food for the night, so I also got some chips...and ate half the bag last night. Fail. I had the rest today. I also had Panda Express for lunch and Marco's Pizza for dinner. Obviously...not doing too great on that.
The thing is, it's not like I was insanely craving this food. This eating, from the last 24 hours, was totally from emotion. Bob says I often eat out of boredom, and that I don't usually see. This time, I knew I was eating because I was sad and upset and frustrated.
It's a never ending circle. I worked really hard this week and didn't miss a workout, but I had actually gained at least a pound as of my unofficial weigh-in. When I have a bad weight, I just do worse. The good ones spur me on. I'm not letting this get the best of me, and I will turn it around right now...just have to get it all out there and admit it so I can move on.
The good news?
-I realize the eating was from being upset and sad. It's not that I couldn't handle a craving.
-I started a workout today and did 20 minutes of it (before getting so upset that I stopped). The point is, I worked out today.
-My bad eating has lasted 24 hours or less. I've done A LOT worse.
-I have lots of healthy recipes to try out next week.
So here's to the failures that make me stronger and to having 2nd (or 324092nd) chances.
No offense, but why don't you try being happy with the body that the Lord blessed you with and just try taking care of it a little bit at a time? I think your expectations are too high and it saddens me that you feel so terrible about eating a little much. You are an amazing person, I think cooking healthier stuff like you said will be good but don't make yourself miserable trying to lose weight/get healthy. Little steps at a time.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought,
ReplyDeleteFill a small jar of goals you want when you hit your target or words of inspiration and keep it in an area you'll see often (or pull one for a day/week next to your money) so when you feel weak/upset/sad, you can see what you are working for
Anonymous- If I stayed happy with this body, I would die sooner than I wanted to because of health conditions. I'm just doing what I need to do to get healthy.
ReplyDeleteKM - Thanks! I have a few things like that! Most of the time, they really help out! It's such a mind game!
ReplyDelete