Figuring things outs

Well it's 3:50AM here, and I woke up and can't fall back to sleep.  :(  So many sleeping problems lately - I'd really just love to be rested.

Last night I did a lot of thinking, and I believe I figured a few things out.  Sometimes I take my frustration out on Seattle.  Should we have moved here?  Would I have a job if I was in Ohio?  Would I get to see my friends more, or would we still be too far apart, too busy, etc.?

I LOVE the bakery.  It's amazing.  I've said before everything I love about it.  But I'm not fulfilling my dream.  I'm not working with children, and I don't feel like I'm making a difference.  In the past, I've always had a goal to achieve...graduate high school, graduate college, get a job.  Now I'm just at a standstill.  I have a job, but it's not my career.  What do I do now?  Yes, apply more, I know.  But what do I do in the meantime?

This brings up so many other questions, as well.  What can I do to make a difference now?  What can I do to help myself get a teaching job in the future?  Why am I focusing my whole life on a job when I could be thinking about other things?  I could be coming up with new hobbies - learning how to knit, sew, crochet!  Focusing more on Bob's and my menu calendar to eat healthier, work out, etc., etc.

But will all of these things help fulfill me and make me happier?  Will all of these thoughts stop running through my head?  Will I feel like I'm contributing to society?  Will I be able to sleep at night?

I don't know, but all I can do is try.  God has a plan for me, as he does for us all.  We never know what it is, so I should just stop trying to guess.  All I can do is be the best me for now and see what He has in store for me....and hope and pray that I feel fulfilled sooner rather than later.  Or else, I'm never going to get enough sleep again!